What Do You Think

When my daughters were growing up, I would ask my girls, “How was your day? What do you think?  How was it?” and may be some times “How do you feel?”.  It drove me nuts when they responded with “I don’t know”.  Every day the response for how was your day was “okay”.  My response to them would be “why was it okay?”.  They would once again say “I don’t know”. GRRR!  I would always counteract that response with “only you would know”. 

I get it.  Yes, they were just giving me the average response… but I did not accept it as a response.  I wanted them to think about how they felt, what they did or did not like about their day, what flavors they like or dislike… I wanted them to have their own opinion.  I didn’t care about the thoughts of their friends or those who surrounded them, including myself.  I was trying to make sure they knew that they could and still can have their own thoughts and they mattered to me and it should to them. 

After I made a huge marital mistake, they finally found their voices.  I have learned they have a lot of opinions and thoughts.  And I am bombarded with them daily and they are mostly about me.  At least, I know they care. 

Often we hide our own feelings or thoughts because we want to be liked by who we are surrounded by.  No one thinks how that can be damaging to oneself.  It is like playing a psychological case of Russian roulette with yourself.  Especially, if you are being friends with them just so you are not alone. 

Everyone fears being alone.  Personally, I rather be alone than lose myself for a so called friendship.  I have learned that a true friend accepts you for who you are, even the differences.  We learn and grow from these differences.  It is okay not to agree, but you have to respect the differences.  You never know what new things you may learn.  If everyone has the same thoughts and feelings, you are missing out on some truths and learning experiences that may only come from speaking to those with different perspectives, lived different lives, and live in different places.

My questions for you are… How do YOU feel?  What do YOU think?  What is on YOUR mind? 

Do you even know?