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Eileen Dunst

Internal Healing

I am making a confession.  I am not the most understanding sister.  I just don’t comprehend my siblings thinking.  My older sister’s thinking is closest to mine.  So, when I get frustrated with another one of my siblings, I go to her to make sure I am not making more of it than I should.  However, I don’t always agree with her either.  That’s when my poor grown daughters have to put up with my complaining. 

 

                  I can’t stand it when any of them blame my parents on any part of their up bringing.  The fact is they made their decisions and acted on those decisions.  No parent controls the world, but they do their best inside the house.  Yes, some children end up pretty much raising themselves.  But the same thought process still stands.  They decided what to do. 

 

                  I will admit I was straight out the only real teenager my parents had.  The others behaved in high school.  After high school, that may be a different story.  Me?  I was a rebellion from the get-go.  Do I look at my past and have regrets?  No.  I look at all my mistakes and situations as lessons I have learned from.  Some of those lessons are situations I put myself in and others were forced on me.  Either way, I learned from all of them.  I told my mother that I don’t blame them for anything because everything was my decision. 

 

                  The flaw with some of my siblings is that they don’t look internally.  They don’t look inside and try to heal from the inside out.  It seems to me that they want to blame others for the issues and not take the blame for them or learn from them.  I wish my dear siblings would just close their eyes and take a look inside their hearts and mind.  They need to let go what is suffocating themselves from any kind of healing that may be done.

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